


Home

by mikor1n



Series: College AU ShuuNeki [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: College!AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikor1n/pseuds/mikor1n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukiyama and Kaneki broke up some time ago, and they were both quite sure that they'd be completely fine on their own. Tsukiyama's all over the place - and he finally realizes that his true home is with Kaneki. It doesn't take Kaneki very long to realize the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> This one is sort of in the same weird AU as Hush; I would recommend reading that first but you totally don't have to! Also, I apologize for the terrible google translate French. If there's any mistakes in there, please let me know. I just had to feed into my headcanon that Tsukiyama is really smart and is actually fluent in a LOT of languages. >w

Kaneki wasn’t sure when it had become 2 o’clock in the morning, but it had definitely come too quickly. A sigh passed his lips, palms coming up to rub his tired eyes. Balancing work and school had become a task like no other, leading to many a night like this. 2 AM greeted him like an old friend. 

But he needed something to keep him awake. He was running out of coffee all too quickly, and Anteiku wouldn’t still be open. At least, he might be greeted by a few angry, tired faces if he so much as tried to go over there. Gas station coffee would have to suffice. His nose wrinkled at the thought, but if it was the only form of caffeine that he could possibly tolerate, then he’d deal with it. He pushed himself up from his chair, a yawn passing his lips. 

Kaneki pushed the door open slightly, only to be greeted by a grunt of distaste. His eyebrows furrowed. “What--” He stepped back in order to inspect the obstacle - but he most definitely wasn’t expecting what met his gaze. Sleepy blue eyes met his, and for a moment, the stranger didn’t seem to react to the situation. He simply rolled over in an attempt to become more comfortable. 

The younger man, however, recoiled immediately. He would know that face anywhere. But it wasn’t one he’d ever expected to see again. “T-Tsukiyama...san?” he squeaked, gulping audibly. After their brief but admittedly heart-wrenching stint in college, the two had parted ways. And Kaneki would be lying if he said that he didn’t think about the purple-haired man every now and then. He wasn’t sure he’d ever forget about Shuu Tsukiyama.

And it seemed that the feeling was mutual. Tsukiyama sat up groggily, squinting as he fought to focus his gaze against the sudden light streaming from Kaneki’s apartment. “O-Oh, Kaneki-kun, I wasn’t expecting you to come out here.” Tsukiyama laughed sheepishly, fatigue still evident in his voice. Kaneki’s heart skipped a beat - he’d heard that voice so many times, been completely infatuated with it. And those feelings encroached once more. Kaneki’s lithe frame shivered, and he forced a frown in the hopes of not falling for Tsukiyama’s charms, no matter how hard it might prove to be. 

“Why are you here?” he finally asked, in not as firm of a tone as he had intended. 

Tsukiyama clammed up. “My roommate kicked me out. It seems I’m in a… not so dolce situation.” He chuckled, finally forcing himself up from his position on the cold concrete. He was wearing a suit, strangely - Kaneki had grown so accustomed before to seeing the older man in such relaxed clothing. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was all planned in the first place. “But I was just going to sleep out here for a night and then… find somewhere else.” His smile faltered only slightly, but Kaneki’s eyes were trained to catch it. 

He couldn’t stop the fond smile from spreading across his lips. The two hadn’t ended on bad terms, not in the slightest. They agreed that parting was the best idea, that their ideas for the future were far too different to even fathom being together for the rest of it. But something told Kaneki that Tsukiyama took it much harder than he let on. The taller man’s cheeks were much more sunken in, his once fairly toned arms now a pitiful semblance of limbs. His eyes no longer held that shine that seemed even more prominent when he spoke a word or two of French. He didn’t seem like Tsukiyama anymore. 

Kaneki knew that it wasn’t his job to worry anymore. It hadn’t been his job for years now. But he found himself unable to repress that urge. “This seems familiar, Tsukiyama-san,” he teased lightly, remembering fondly the night that had forged their relationship when they were younger. “You’re an expert at getting kicked out of your room, aren’t you?” 

Tsukiyama’s expression softened, and he gave an abrupt laugh, but it seemed forced. “It looks that way. It might help if I was better at finding places to stay, though.” He leaned against Kaneki’s doorframe, and Kaneki couldn’t help but notice how frail he looked. What had happened to him over the last few years? Kaneki, tired though he may be, had thrived. He was working through his last year of college, and soon enough, he would be entirely self-sufficient. Tsukiyama, however, didn’t seem even remotely close to that. 

“You can stay here, if you’d like,” the younger finally offered, giving a slight bow of his head. There would be no harm in allowing Tsukiyama in for a night. More than anything, at least Kaneki wouldn’t be alone. He couldn’t deny how lonely he got, even with his cat to keep him company. It would be nice to have some form of human contact, even for just a night. 

Tsukiyama’s eyes widened a fraction. “Really? I don’t want to be a bother, Kaneki-kun,” he said sweetly, but Kaneki couldn’t find it in himself to turn Tsukiyama down. A small part of him wanted Tsukiyama to stay, badly. 

Kaneki shook his head. “No, don’t worry. Come on in.” He stepped to the side to allow Tsukiyama in, and the taller man took the invitation with a polite bow of his head. He slipped his shoes off at the door, gaze immediately settling on the small white cat that had peered out of his hiding spot behind the sofa. 

“You have a cat?” he breathed, immediately crouching down to reach a tentative hand out towards the kitten. 

“Ah, yeah,” Kaneki chuckled. “His name’s Andre the Giant… well, I just call him Andre… you know, from--”

“Princess Bride.” Tsukiyama grinned, “I remember.” 

Kaneki couldn’t even bring himself to be surprised that Tsukiyama remembered. The older man had a way of remembering every little thing Kaneki told him - Kaneki could never fathom how he managed such a feat, but he was always flattered by it. “He’s kind of small to be Andre the Giant, isn’t he?” 

“But he’s gentle… he looks kind of scary, but he’s sweet.” Kaneki made himself comfortable on the couch, giving a forlorn glance to the computer screen that he’d been sitting in front of for the last few hours. A half-written report still glowed on the screen, but he elected to ignore it, just for the night. He could finish it in the morning, maybe opt out of one of his classes. Admittedly, it wasn’t the smartest strategy, but he found himself much more interested in his unexpected company.

The question that had been tugging at every edge of his mind finally breached Kaneki’s lips. “Why were you sleeping outside my door, Tsukiyama-san?”

Tsukiyama didn’t look up from his lap. He focused intently on Andre, delicate hands trailing down the feline’s thin body. “You know, I don’t really know.” He gave a slight smile. “Maybe because… I always felt at home with you, Kaneki-kun. And if I couldn’t be in my real home, in my room… I could be with you. Sort of.” 

It wasn’t the answer Kaneki was expecting. His eyes widened. Tsukiyama had always been honest with Kaneki - it’d taken a lot of coercion, but in the later days of their relationship, Tsukiyama had learned to open up about his feelings. Kaneki was glad to see that it hadn’t faded, but he wasn’t sure what to do with this new found information. 

He’d always had the feeling that Tsukiyama cared more. Tsukiyama was the one who seemed completely dependent on Kaneki. And now, seeing the state the older man was in, Kaneki knew that was still true. “You could’ve just knocked,” he said meekly. “I would’ve let you in. You didn’t need to sleep on the concrete.” 

Tsukiyama still didn’t look up. “I didn’t want to disturb you. It was late, and you’re a busy boy. You need your sleep.” His attention remained on Andre, but he didn’t smile. Something seemed to be weighing heavily on his mind, and Kaneki wanted to fix it. He wanted to help in some way, any way that he possibly could. But given their current situation, he wasn’t sure there was much he really could do. 

An awkward silence fell over the room, save for the soft purrs from Andre. But Tsukiyama was the one to break the silence. “Vous étiez toujours ma maison, Kaneki-kun… je suppose que vous êtes toujours.”*

Kaneki flinched. It’d been so long since he’d heard Tsukiyama speak French to him. It’d been such a rare occurrence before, one reserved for only the most important and most intimate situations. 

Upon Kaneki’s silence, Tsukiyama moved Andre off his lap and rose, dusting stray white cat fur off his outfit. “I’m sorry, Kaneki. I shouldn’t impose… I can’t stay here tonight. I’m sorry for interrupting--”

“Tsukiyama.” Kaneki interjected, lips curving into a frown. He’d have to find the words, he decided, no matter how difficult it might be. “You can’t leave. You have nowhere else to go. Just stay here. I… I want you to stay here anyway.” 

Tsukiyama was quiet for a moment. “Je vous ai manqué, Kaneki,*” he finally murmured, a phrase that Kaneki was quite familiar with. Once upon a time, the phrase was followed by a kiss, or a hug from behind. It was laden with nothing but love - pure love. And Kaneki was quite sure that the feeling hadn’t faded, not even a little bit. 

Kaneki bowed his head slightly. “I… I missed you, too,” he said quietly, taking a step closer to Tsukiyama. In a desperate attempt to keep the older man there, he reached out for his hand. “Don’t leave, okay? Just… stay here… with me.” 

Kaneki heard Tsukiyama’s breath hitch in the back of his throat. His entire body tensed, but he quickly combated it by moving in on Kaneki and swiftly wrapping his arms around the shorter half-ghoul. “I don’t know how I--” He cleared his throat before pausing briefly. He seemed to always struggle to find the right words, a small facet of Tsukiyama’s personality that Kaneki found endearing. 

But he pushed on. “I don’t know how I lived without you. It was… it was so difficult, Kaneki-kun. I….” He seemed to have another thought, but elected to keep it to himself, instead burying his nose in Kaneki’s hair. Neither of them spoke for a moment. Kaneki’s apartment took on its usual quietness, but this was a comfortable silence. Kaneki didn’t want to speak - the last thing he wanted was to spoil this moment. He’d be lying if he said he’d never dreamed of it. 

“Please stay.” Tsukiyama’s voice cracked as he spoke, and Kaneki felt slight moisture upon the top of his head. This wouldn’t be the first time he’d seen Tsukiyama cry, but it was never something that he wanted to see. All Kaneki had ever wished for Tsukiyama was happiness, and he’d been sure that Tsukiyama could find it without him. 

He’d been sure that he could find it without Tsukiyama. But now he realized how wrong he’d been, how wrong both of them had been. It had been foolish on his part to think that he would be able to live without Tsukiyama. 

Kaneki finally pulled himself from Tsukiyama slightly to press a firm kiss to Tsukiyama’s lips. Truthfully, he’d been dreaming of doing it from the moment he saw the older man. 

Tsukiyama was all too quick to return the kiss with twice the fervor. His hands came up to rest on Kaneki’s cheeks, and he nearly succeeded in pushing the other boy to the floor. Kaneki braced himself, draping his arms around the ghoul’s shoulders. He sought closeness - all he wanted was to be pressed flush against Tsukiyama and for Tsukiyama to never move. 

Kaneki took the initiative to guide Tsukiyama gently to the couch, mainly out of fear that Tsukiyama would simply faint. The older man was malnourished, that much was obvious - and Kaneki couldn’t help but think that maybe it was his fault. He swallowed that fear as he pushed Tsukiyama to the couch, earning a meow of disgust from Andre as he jumped from his seat. Tsukiyama chuckled. “So forceful, Kaneki-kun~” 

“You need to rest,” he answered simply, lips set in a firm line. “And you need to eat.” He found himself gulping slightly as he immediately thought of the easiest food source for Tsukiyama - himself. Over the course of their relationship, Tsukiyama had always blatantly denied Kaneki’s offerings of himself. But maybe Tsukiyama was desperate enough for it now. 

But Tsukiyama shook his head. “Tomorrow, mon amour,” he murmured, laying back on the couch and pulling Kaneki to lay on top of him. Kaneki grimaced as the older man’s protruding hips dug into Kaneki’s, but he didn’t dare complain. Instead, he gave a sigh of annoyance. Tsukiyama didn’t worry enough about himself, and Kaneki had always chided him for it. 

But Tsukiyama never paid him a bit of mind. He always seemed placated when he was with Kaneki. He never wanted for anything, he never complained. He was simply... happy. He’d simply smile and close his eyes, and be fast asleep within minutes. And that was exactly what was happening now. 

Tsukiyama’s hand trailed lazily down Kaneki’s back, fingertips tracing circles along the length of his spine. “Go to sleep. You look tired.” Tsukiyama’s own words were laced with fatigue, and Kaneki gave a slight nod in the hopes that Tsukiyama would sleep first. Kaneki wasn’t sure he could bring himself to relax until he knew that Tsukiyama was. 

It didn’t take long for Tsukiyama’s breathing to even out, signaling that he was fast asleep. Kaneki smiled softly, fingertips brushing over his sharp jawline. “I love you, Tsukiyama-kun,” he whispered before settling his own head down on Tsukiyama’s chest. The steady thud of Tsukiyama’s heartbeat lulled him to sleep. 

* “You were always my home, Kaneki-kun… and I suppose you still are.”   
* “I missed you, Kaneki.”


End file.
